Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
