I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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