As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
