I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
