wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
