Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
