I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am available for nakedness
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
