oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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