and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize