the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
