Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Shame - the story of my life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
