I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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