Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
