if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
