Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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