She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
