he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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