My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
