the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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