So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
