Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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