never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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