I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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