i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
please come you make the beer taste better
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
