You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have aggressive nipples.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
is it fun? or sober?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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