He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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