In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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