Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
