sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
