My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
