It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
