i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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