carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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