SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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