Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
