update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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