I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
