Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he thought i was a dude.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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