The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I lost the right to judge tonight
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
