My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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