Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
