DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
