and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
