I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
