Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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