worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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