so that wasnt chicken after all
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
