Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just found a bag of teeth...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize