His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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