Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
