all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
