All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
