come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
