Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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