New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I want her autograph on my taint
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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