Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize