also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
