meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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