I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
