Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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