The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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