worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
