I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
