Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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