This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize