i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
