Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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