Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
did you just send me my own nude
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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