I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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