This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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