We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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