Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
