I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
