i just google imaged poop.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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