***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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